By Haylee Thorson
Female pleasure has a way of making people uncomfortable. From the moment girls become teenagers, they’re immediately told what is and isn’t okay. It’s okay to date, but it’s not okay to have casual hookups. It’s okay to kiss, but it’s not okay to talk about it. It’s okay to have a relationship, but it’s not okay to have sex. Women are constantly shamed for everything they do. Whether it’s the way they dress, the way they talk, or the way they act—if it doesn’t align with what the societal expectation of what a woman should be, it’s considered taboo. With that in mind, you can only imagine the response that Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s latest single “WAP” garnered. A rather explicit song about female pleasure at its core, people were absolutely losing their minds over the raunchy lyrics and the fact that they are coming from the mouths of women.
But the funny thing is, songs about sex aren’t new.
For years, male rappers have been objectifying women with their own lyrics and no one has ever batted an eye. And while the content in “WAP” is provocative, it is nothing compared to the countless other songs released by some of the most notable men in the rap industry. Take Dr. Dre’s 1992 hit song “Bitches Ain’t Shit,” for example. Despite the demeaning title and vulgar lyrics, it never came close to receiving the same level of hatred that “WAP” is experiencing in 2020. And that’s not even the worst one. “U.O.E.N.O.” by Rocko featuring Rick Ross and Future manages to surpass Dre’s demoralizing lyrics by lightheartedly rapping about date rape. “Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it. I took her home and enjoyed that, she ain’t even know it.” And people think Cardi and Megan’s song is appalling? Male rappers have come to rely so heavily on the sexualization of women in their songs that no one is even shocked when they hear lyrics like that anymore. But heaven forbid female rappers write songs about their own sexual wants and desires—that’s a right reserved specifically for men!
Men always say they want a strong woman. But I don’t think that’s true. Their egos are far too fragile to handle a woman who is smarter than them, stronger than them, wealthier than them, etc. The rampant misogyny in our country constantly tries to tear down any woman who is her unapologetic self. Whether it’s an outspoken female artist, celebrity or politician, it seems like a man always has something to say about the way she carries herself. “Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion are what happens when children are raised without God and without a strong father figure,” said Republican politician, James P. Bradley. Comments like this make it very clear that a lot of men think it’s their place to ridicule the actions of women. But let’s get one thing straight. It will never be a man’s place to tell a woman what she can and can’t do—especially when it comes to her own body.
And it’s not just men. A huge amount of the hatred towards “WAP” is coming from the mouths of women themselves. Conservative politician DeAnna Lorraine even went as far as to say, “Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion just set the entire female gender back by 100 years with their disgusting & vile ‘WAP’ song” when the single dropped. Sure, because the patriarchal oppression of women is so much better than the sheer thought of them being sexually liberated, DeAnna. It’s one thing for men to tear women down for being “promiscuous,” because it (unfortunately) happens all the time. But when other women come after their own, it’s absolutely infuriating. It doesn’t matter where you stand on the political spectrum; if you’re a woman, you know what it feels like to be belittled by men. And the fact that you would take their side on matters pertaining to your own sexual identity and freedom is disgraceful.
Here’s the thing that really bothers me. Girls and women are sexualized constantly. It’s the reason why young girls can’t wear tank tops to school. It’s the reason why nearly one in five women are raped at some point in their lives. It’s the reason why girls are told they were “asking for it” if they were wearing a short skirt. Women are viewed as nothing but objects and it’s blatantly obvious in films, music, school, television, work, you name it. And this is never seen as an issue until a woman decides that she wants to sexualize herself before a man decides to. Then men will get upset and be like, “Oh, you want to sexualize yourself? That’s our job. How dare you take that right away from us!” When a woman chooses to take back that power, it’s suddenly a problem.
The fact that so many women are finally feeling confident enough to express themselves freely is inspiring. While there was a lot of backlash towards Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s song this month, the positive response truly outweighs the negative. “WAP” is currently number one on Billboard’s Hot 100 and has garnered over 93 million streams in the U.S. since it was released. Not only that, but the single inspired it’s very own TikTok dance challenge. Women around the world are paying homage to this hot girl anthem by performing incredibly difficult, yet powerful choreography. Even though this song isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, it’s opening up the conversation about female sexuality in ways never before seen. “WAP” lets women know that it’s okay to ask for what we want. That it’s normal to feel proud of our bodies and the things we use them for. That it’s perfectly fine to feel sexually empowered despite what we’ve been told all of these years. This song is so much more than risqué lyrics and a catchy tune. It’s a reminder that women have all the power in the world—all they need to do is recognize it.
Haylee Thorson is an editorial writer who specializes in beauty, culture, and travel. Follow her on Instagram.
This morning I had one of my writers, the one who wrote this great article, message me how a man left several rude comments on it. First off, this won’t be the last time someone disagrees with something she wrote but it doesn’t mean we have to just sit back behind our screens and take it. Not everyone likes Cardi B. Many hated this song. A lot of people I knew were offended I “allowed” such a thing to be written for my magazine, lol. Do we not have enough going on in 2020 without this bullshit? There are a lot of males out there who feel like their power is being taken away by a vagina. Are you insane?…
This article has been so empowering for me and I bet many other women and girls who are often told by society to hide their sexuality. As someone who is still coming into her own regarding her sexuality, thank you for this piece. It has brought me confidence and taught me that my empowerment is more than okay.
I JUST FIND IT FUNNY that someone has the time to write a dissertation proving exactly what toxic masculinity looks like. In case anyone was ever confused on what 'mansplaining' is or what a toxic man is, this is it folks. But I ask you not to read his hate and propaganda, instead spread love, support, and empower the women in your life to speak up and not be scared to use their voices for fear of being belittled and made to feel small. Haylee, this article is fantastic and you are 1000% correct on all fronts. Ladies, be proud of your WAP. It only makes men uncomfortable because they know the power we have and are capable of. #pussypower…
Female empowerment is important especially for Black women. We are hyper sexualized and desexualized simultaneously. Our bodies are policed constantly. Two Black women decided to remove the chains that society places on them and stop the policing of their bodies. It isn’t anyone’s place to tell anyone how to discuss their vagina. The discomfort around this song is heavily rooted in Misogynoir.
@cliffreda thank you for mansplaining what is an isn’t empowering to females. Please tell us more your experience being female - wait you can’t. Men rap about ‘fucking bitches’ and smoking weed, so what’s with the double standard bro?
I imagine your just a pathetic loser that hides behind your computer, giving your two cents on shit that has no relevancy to you because your bored and sad. Do you lack WAP? Oh sorry - WAP means Wet Ass Pussy in case you weren’t aware. Please log off your computer, put your device down and get a real life. Leave real thought provoking commentary and conversation to those of us who are educated, okay?
Thanks.